Help me to help her.
started by cradhika 2 mnths agoFlat
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Radhika take her out for lunch or some shopping, or movie just to divert her attention.
Staying away from the mundane things she will relax and may start enjoying with you for a while.
Staying away from the mundane things she will relax and may start enjoying with you for a while.
kaisi hain aap janab-e-ala? I had 3 teas. khwaja-di-diwani like dance with kids on full volume. had them standing on my bent knees while i jumped arnd. tired. time for chuck-e-cheeze. son excited to meet her GF there. hows u?
Me ekdum achi hu...
Acha laga apko dhekh kar...so spending saturday in full dhamaal? Great.
Howz u?
Acha laga apko dhekh kar...so spending saturday in full dhamaal? Great.
Howz u?
I am doing fine. Planted some plants. Figured the sprinkler is blown up. Wife's PP has expired. Daughter's to expire next month. So I paused and smiled at life :)) This weekend, I must finish my parents sketch. Good to c u 2. with you being here, dont wanna go. But chalo bulawa aayaa hai, mata ne chauthi baar bulaya hai :))
2 things:
1. Just listen to her whining a couple of times a day and say "yes yes... you are so right. I agree" and forget everything she says.
and
2. Every once in a while ask her for suggestions on totally useless things about which you have already decided. Praise her saying "excellent suggestions"... and forget everything you or she said.
P.S. No other way...bcz people at that age will not change, they are bitter, insecure, suspicious, demanding, self-righteous, and add anything else you want to......This is a very very common problem USUALLY associated with men... but in your case your mother has made an exception.....:)
Arthum ayindha ?
1. Just listen to her whining a couple of times a day and say "yes yes... you are so right. I agree" and forget everything she says.
and
2. Every once in a while ask her for suggestions on totally useless things about which you have already decided. Praise her saying "excellent suggestions"... and forget everything you or she said.
P.S. No other way...bcz people at that age will not change, they are bitter, insecure, suspicious, demanding, self-righteous, and add anything else you want to......This is a very very common problem USUALLY associated with men... but in your case your mother has made an exception.....:)
Arthum ayindha ?
cycle of human life. just like kids, old need attention. just like kids can be distracted with toys, TV, left in park - old can be distracted by taking them to library, park or some such activity. HTH.
You already helping her. Just continue listening. Say, 'ya', every once in a while.
Hm.... why can't I be efficient like you ?
I am a 'listening' veteran.
clarification: I didn't imply my mom there.. she is a bigger listening veteran. Maybe I picked this from her, when I saw her listening patiently for hours to the cribbings of others. Best thing about her is, once you tell her something, it stays with her. Kinda irks me when trying to get info out of her...
On another note I miss my mom.
On another note I miss my mom.
Oh I just called my mother today after a long pause - and she talked for 3 hours! She loves to talk, I don't have to say anything, or if I do, she doesn't hear me anyway. But its true even if she has a problem she won't listen to anyone or any simple remedy, she knows best or nothing! Best thing to say, is Yeah Yeah Yeah as Uppili suggests.
Looks like my mother and your mother are sisters. They seek temperory relief by pouring out their woes. I am afraid one I day I will also become like her.
:)
I am not sure- where we get this "ideal" mother image!
As mothers get older they are supposed to be talkative, whining, complaining to their daughters (have to admit they are different with sons!) But, they are very comfortable with daughters/trust their daughters and will unload all they have been saving up emotionally inside (there are really no exceptions)...don't let them fool you...they have plenty of secrets (you cannot get anything they don't want to reveal).....I am sure Barbara Bush does the same..so does Queen Elizabeth with their only daughters, and daughters only- and not with their sons..so as Promilla and others have said...nod, listen (pretend to)...and take them out- and spend some time with them!
So, your mothers are very normal...and I am willing to bet..you are going to be just like them..not matter how much you try not to:-)
M
I am not sure- where we get this "ideal" mother image!
As mothers get older they are supposed to be talkative, whining, complaining to their daughters (have to admit they are different with sons!) But, they are very comfortable with daughters/trust their daughters and will unload all they have been saving up emotionally inside (there are really no exceptions)...don't let them fool you...they have plenty of secrets (you cannot get anything they don't want to reveal).....I am sure Barbara Bush does the same..so does Queen Elizabeth with their only daughters, and daughters only- and not with their sons..so as Promilla and others have said...nod, listen (pretend to)...and take them out- and spend some time with them!
So, your mothers are very normal...and I am willing to bet..you are going to be just like them..not matter how much you try not to:-)
M
Yes becoming like mother is a scary thought, this also bothers me, and sometimes the words just slip out of my mouth and I think, damn, that sounded like my mother. :S ... My mother used to say, she didn't want to end up like her mother, and to tell her if she became that way. My grandmother was the greatest grandmother actually, and my mother is nothing like her, but becoming more stubborn and cantankerous as time passes by.
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Natural phenomena!!!
All aged persons want to listen them patiently .
Old age won't tolerate negligence and wants preference in all.
Obviously they should be regarded and the fact remains they are the persons for the present position of their successors.
How healthy, wealthy and wise enough is looked down unless they regard and give preference to their parents.
Any living creature's primary responsibility is to give respect to the parents and extend their total abilities for the need and cause of parents.
The traition of Hindu/Bharat gave the first preference to the parents than God.
One should not forget the order of priorities prescribed i.e., "Thalli, Thandri, Guruvu, Daivam.