What do you think he did?
started by Sum12008 7 mnths agoReplies
It is my observation....
The men usually say .."move on"...and they do. Statistically, most men move on faster than women.
Women (including me)...like to analyze and over analyze the situation "after" it is all done! Then we go through this phase....we blame ourselves, we blame him, we hate him and yet we hoplessly love him (and we just don't really understand and keep asking...why me?)...This is not the end - we then have a "lessons learned" and then we treat ourselves so harshly...and always blame ourselves to a lot of extent.
Yea? Haven't you cried enough on your pillows at night? You must be really suffering that you decided to write up and reach out. I can imagine the pain (and I mean women go through this excrutiating physical pain which men don't understand...their anatomy is not build that ways...its not their fault either)...
My suggestion to you is...(because I see that you like to write and express yourself)..
1) Buy a journal and write your thoughts (anything and everything...pour that heart away and empty your mind off with thoughts)
2) Keep the log current and write it every single night before you sleep. (I'm sure it hurts like hell...but you have to make the attempt to start healing and start living.)
Fact # 1) He is married! Unless you plan to fly to india and break their marriage. But, what is the point? His family doesnt not like you (That's what the GUY said...you NEVER really had direct conversation with family...so I wont really trust the darn man to begin with!)
Fact # 2) You had some problem from your first marriage. Isn't it CRITICAL that you find someone where the family also likes you? You need a man - yes ...but most importantly you also need the family to want you! to appreciate who you really are! (don't just blindly go for love n care! where is your common sense?)
Fact # 3) If you REALLY wanted to be with him - why did you just contact via phone and email? You should have simply bought your airline tickets (and should have been given and address to reach to...in case needed! Apparently, the man did not support the decision of marrying you!)
Fact # 4) Its ok....(its hardest to accept) that the man "said" and did not "perform the nobel act"....Happens from time to time.
So what does it tell you? In the future, don't simply believe in the men who "act" as if they "care" but let them show through their sincere actions (and I mean...real sincere actions...NOT SIMPLY BRINGING FLOWERS!)...that they care for you...and want to spend their life with you.
Fact # 5) You compromised. Didn't you? You admit you didn't like him! Yet! Yet! you compromised! My dear friend...it is ok to be alone! It is ok to be single! Give yourself time!
I would really recommend that you give yourself some time...if you feel like spending time with your friends ( i mean only women for now)...if you feel you want to be left alone - then do it! Don't let others tell you want to do. At this point, you are too weak to be "sensible" and you know what I mean. You are emotionally weak and need time to stand up again. This is perfectly normal. Accept your situation, love yourself and then come back to life.
Please do me a favor! Never...ever...ever and I'll repeat..EVER compromise and let go of that "gut" feeling. Women have strong instincts. (Gurl - we are so good with our guts that men's stock market stumble becoz of the way we women invest in stocks and we are called better investors than men!)...Idea is...I want you to believe in yourself! I want you to rely on your guts! I want you to start listening to yourself! You are not in touch with youself...and that's going to create more problems later in life...
Get in touch with your soul! Can you take some time to reflect on your actions????
Another thing...being divorced...as a woman (Yes - the society looks down at women more than it does to men..) But again - if you do what you have always wanted to do. If you pursue your passion with all your heart! (And I mean alllllllll your heart!) ...the right man - in his right man- will fall for you...for who you really really really are! No darn divorces and history will matter.
Question is - Do you believe in yourself? I want you to stop listening to nonsense people say and block negative thoughts. I want you to be absolutely focused in whatever you enjoy doing and have faith in god and yourself. ...can you do that?
I thought he won't respond to this email either. To my surprise he called me and gave the solution. He just asked a few extra regular questions during the conversation.
My problem was a serious one related to job and paycheck.
I feel, he still cares for me ? If he does, he's such a weak person (i know, now).
And also he got married in rush. Like with in 3 weeks from meeting the girl to marriage. He didnt plan for wedding during this vacation for sure. And had to extend the leave. But he sounded happy.
I think his wife now, was just studying in bachelors..like 20 year old and very homely and dependent. Unlike me. He mentioned once, when I asked that am I the one you have dreamt/imagined of. He said "No, u r not like that. But since I've met you, I've started to like things in you and my opinion has changed. You have made me to change".
I thought he won't respond to this email either. To my surprise he called me and gave the solution. He just asked a few extra regular questions during the conversation.
My problem was a serious one related to job and paycheck.
I feel, he still cares for me ? If he does, he's such a weak person (i know, now).
And also he got married in rush. Like with in 3 weeks from meeting the girl to marriage. He didnt plan for wedding during this vacation for sure. And had to extend the leave. But he sounded happy.
I think his wife now, was just studying in bachelors..like 20 year old and very homely and dependent. Unlike me. He mentioned once, when I asked that am I the one you have dreamt/imagined of. He said "No, u r not like that. But since I've met you, I've started to like things in you and my opinion has changed. You have made me to change"
Does he still cares for me ?
1. Stop calling him.
2. "I feel, he still cares for me ?". No. He is either feeling too gulity, or still trying to continue things as they are.
If nothing else, think of the new bride, and leave them alone.
I didnt intend to talk to him, I hoped his email response.
But he called me before leaving office. May be he doesnt want anybody to know about it. HIs 2 managers know about me. May be he diidnt want them to know. He's friendly with them and goes to their house.
I never would meet him or intend to get involved.
I just want to talk/prefer email, to him when there is something tricky I cant handle.
At this point I dont even know if he's gonna call me back for my every email . This time it was really serious so he called.
I don't for see any harm in that.
I'll never go back to him, knowing that he left me all of a sudden and is now happy with other girl. I don't wan to be his 2nd priority or 2nd chance.
- Tend to be more lovable towards their owner.
- Male dogs can be more outgoing, more vigorous and more in your face.
- They are less prone to mood swings.
- A Male dogs can be more comical, clumsy and silly acting more like overgrown kids .
- They have a tendency to please their master more.
- Most male dogs can show dominance and test their owner.
- Male dogs will generally test their owner more during the adolescent months.
- Adolescence can last up to three years in male breeds of the larger dogs.
- Male dogs posses more obvious genitals which they sometimes pride themselves on and often splay their legs open at the most embarrassing times, such as when you have guests.
- Some males especially during adolescence will hump everything in sight regardless of what or who that may be.
- Most male dogs cock their legs when going to the bathroom even on your favourite shrub or garden gnome.
- Most males will territorially mark their domain spraying everything in sight.
- Female dogs are usually more subtle than males.
- They are usually quicker to learn and housebreak.
- They are less distracted than males.
- They are less defiant than males.
- They are less likely to involve you in dominance struggles.
- They are usually quieter than males.
Points Against
- Female dogs are more prone to mood swings.
- They are experts when it comes to sulking.
- They can be ingenious when it comes to getting their own way.
- You will have to keep a close eye on your female when she is in season or heat
Seven women considered to be some of the highest achieving in UK academia are set to share their experiences at a national conference in Belfast today (November 30th).
The event has been organised by Queen's University's award-winning Gender Initiative and around 100 women from throughout the UK are expected to attend.
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The Penn Consortium of Undergraduate Women organized a gathering of about 30 -- mostly prospective law students -- in the Annenberg School for Communication's red sofa-adorned lobby to hear White and Struve describe their experiences and roles in the legal field, and to garner advice last Friday.
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"I want to know of the issues unique to women before I enter law school, and these two have achieved stature in the field," College junior Aylese Kanze said.
Not all attendees were bound for law school, though. College of General Studies senior Roberta Turner, who is majoring in environmental studies, came to the lecture to find out "how to approach lawyers."
White received her law degree from Penn Law School in the 1970s, on the cusp of women's acceptance into the profession. She said her graduating class comprised 25 percent women, the class before her 10 percent and the class prior to that 5 percent.
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White, who stopped working at a law firm in 1999, said she now has the "best job in America."
White started working for the University in 1999 as the deputy general counsel.
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White provides legal advice and counsel services to thousands of University affiliates.
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Struve, who has taught at Penn for five years, added that women are not becoming law professors in large numbers.
"There are still strides that need to be made," Struve said.
HTH.
A divorced woman cannot marry a single guy (with parents) and hope to live happily and as equal. India is ready for remarriage of women but not to single guys. We are still lightening years away for that. All such marriages WILL involve some suspicion sooner or later or some whispering rumors among the relatives. You will always be a second class citizen in the family - a lower caste so to say.
His love might have been genuine but his character is NOT strong enough to face the challenge. It takes a marriage to marriage to make a woman and man understand married life and its challenges, and to understand what the other might go through. A single guy is full of hope, dreams, fantasies, wrong imaginations, and full of assumptions.
Good that you did not get married to him. You would have been in worse trouble if you had married him. Find someone else - preferably another divorced or widower.
Good luck.
In India culturally cpeaking there is a huge vacuum when it comes to divorced women marrying single "fresh" virgin boys. So it is hard for lightening (aka broad mindedness) to strike people's mind through that vacuum. Hence it "lightening years"
(How did I do ?)
remember,good bodies and good balley dancers are always found in the worst areas of New york.
WOW! Did I read it right?
Regarding back training - dont trust the frikkin trainer.. he may blabber the same routine that he does for all men and women... not the ones who get back pain - most mothers get this problem if they had epidural or some such thing.
Best is to use much less weight than you can handle and balance compressive and tensile exercises. Also dont do anything that "bends" your spine like situps - that is a killer. If you get a "burning sensation" just dont do ANY exercise involving spine - that includes pulling weights down your shoulder using both hands - that stretches your spine.
If you have back injury you SHOULD not do anything except simply walk , walk, and walk... for several months... unless I am there to personally guide you with specific exercises. Trust me.. Stick to walking for 45 min. to 1 hr.
Yeah right! You actually go and kill some people to see how a killer might feel about killing some one? ;-)
He's not contacting me now.
But say if I wud have married him, what wud be the life after?
And with this girl, he talked a few times over phone. MArraige arranged by parents, same caste and horoscope etc. He was in contact with her family for some months. Everybody is in INdia. And then he meets her and his family decides the marrige same day, because they found him talking over phone to me on the day he was planned to see that girl. He marries her in 2-3 weeks. Is this how he should have chosen a life partner. Just met for an hour and decided to spend rest of his life. He was very smart in class and now in his job. Is training offshore in India and leads them, at comparitively young age.
Can't understand how he left me after knowing a lot more. And deciding to marry her with in a few hours.
Tells me 'you move on'. I did. (i talked to him once ). I asked "if she's too pretty may be like you have imagined your future wife to be". Said "Somewhat like that. Even big heroes get average girls, and less-than-average guys manage to get heroine. It all depends on how you adjust."
That was not exactly what I asked him, but I assume that she's not as gud luking as he was expecting so he's adjusting.
Why he needed to do all that? We were so happy together. He needed to convince his parents, which he says was impossible...how cud some one be so compromising ....he told me earlier that he's very compromising. He said he's gonna call me everyday from vonage phone. And planning to see me as soon as he comes back. And all of a sudden, in 1 day everything changed.
this is why I said Dr. 90210- is better then any medicine after a break up :Pyou will get 100 x more the attention and prob. a better looking guy and all the cups that come with it*
-he will regret you will see- love does not come cheap
To answer your question...
What do you think he did?....
Fact - Got married to someone else...thats what he did.
Drink some water and...get a picture of his..(and if it makes you feel better) like they show in this JWM movie...flush him outta your life gurrrrrl!