Our children in US
started by ocean breeze 3 mnths agoFlat
Nested
Replies
denice _menace posted Re:Our children in US on 3 mnths agouh bhat about them?
- Reply
- Report Abuse
I grew up miles away from where my parents grew up. They struggled with the differences in cultures and what not while keeping their individuality intact...and we turned out to be all fine.
Fast forward...now my children are growing up a thousands of miles away from where I grew up and hopefully they will be all fine. I teach them good morals with explanations and examples and I know that will go a long way. I encourage them to question everything that they do not understand. There is no force to blindly follow tradition just because mommy said so.
my neice came home with 'i like pale skin more than tan skin. dresses look much better on pale skin'.
wht the hell do you say to the kid so she feels proud of her skin tone?
wht the hell do you say to the kid so she feels proud of her skin tone?
my question was how do you instill confidence in your kids as far as skin color is concerned.
almost all of you got lost in your own skin color issues and missed the Q.
pooling all your education and intellect, lets hear some practical suggestions as to how we can make desi kids feel good about themselves.
enough of rhetorical 'love as is' stuff. we do that anyways.
almost all of you got lost in your own skin color issues and missed the Q.
pooling all your education and intellect, lets hear some practical suggestions as to how we can make desi kids feel good about themselves.
enough of rhetorical 'love as is' stuff. we do that anyways.
me thinks she did not utter those magic words on her own, i bet she first heard the adults use those words (many of us indians do this around kids, albeit subconsciously), and just repeated later..
mai bhi yahi soch raha tha. i asked her if someone said that to her. she said no..that is what she thinks.
as far as i know, skin color is not even an issue in our house. and she is 'wheatish' as so many people here are proudly claiming..which is still dark skinned to the whities.
being the only dark skinned girl in class might have contributed to it. she needs to be prepared for white kids comments as well.
as far as i know, skin color is not even an issue in our house. and she is 'wheatish' as so many people here are proudly claiming..which is still dark skinned to the whities.
being the only dark skinned girl in class might have contributed to it. she needs to be prepared for white kids comments as well.
> being the only dark skinned girl in class might have contributed to it
yep, that must be it, they usually pick up these ideas from art class where their teachers/instructors ask them to use the colors that represent their skin shades, my son had mentioned similar things [he didn't say he likes light skin better though], i told him not to pay much attention to ones' skin color, if any of his class mates bring this up again, "go tell your teacher right away or let me know, i will come and have a chat with the teacher". it seems to work thus far, but convincing girl is a different story.
yep, that must be it, they usually pick up these ideas from art class where their teachers/instructors ask them to use the colors that represent their skin shades, my son had mentioned similar things [he didn't say he likes light skin better though], i told him not to pay much attention to ones' skin color, if any of his class mates bring this up again, "go tell your teacher right away or let me know, i will come and have a chat with the teacher". it seems to work thus far, but convincing girl is a different story.
my sis will have a chat with her about it i am sure. she is attached to me a lot. i feel bad for her.
Peace - that's a tough one!
I know in schools, they go over each culture - what they wear, the type of food they eat, etc along with the skin color - In KG here in USA...
my daughter is fair and she came home and was pretty proud of her "peach" skin... the next year when my son went to KG and same thing he started talking about brown skin and dark skin. He said that his sister is "peach" and he is "brown". But he was still proud of his own skin color - because I - as MOMMY - made sure - that he understands being little dark is not a "problem".
My son DOES NOT see dark skin as inferior. He is a superb kid - me thinks
I know in schools, they go over each culture - what they wear, the type of food they eat, etc along with the skin color - In KG here in USA...
my daughter is fair and she came home and was pretty proud of her "peach" skin... the next year when my son went to KG and same thing he started talking about brown skin and dark skin. He said that his sister is "peach" and he is "brown". But he was still proud of his own skin color - because I - as MOMMY - made sure - that he understands being little dark is not a "problem".
My son DOES NOT see dark skin as inferior. He is a superb kid - me thinks
".......my daughter is fair and she came home and was pretty proud of her "peach" skin... "
That's nice as long as she knows that it's not the most important attribute of a person like so many Indians.
When an Indian says that so and so is fair-skinned, you have to wonder because in many cases the person they are referring to may not be fair-skinned at all!
That's nice as long as she knows that it's not the most important attribute of a person like so many Indians.
When an Indian says that so and so is fair-skinned, you have to wonder because in many cases the person they are referring to may not be fair-skinned at all!
I think you are in judgemental mode - switch it !
picking on little things will not do you any good
picking on little things will not do you any good
are you serious? your daughter is fair?
damn can i date her?how old is she? 18+? right? lemme know sweety
damn can i date her?how old is she? 18+? right? lemme know sweety
Ya she is 18+ MONTHS ... and no dating is not allowed
I think JBF and your daughter will be very well-matched intellectually.
persepolis
you crossed your limit ..you have shaken the vindictive man inside me..believe me I will find you i will disclose your identity here in public..do what yuo can do kulta female...legally or perosnally i will fight with you until death.just mark my words..
you crossed your limit ..you have shaken the vindictive man inside me..believe me I will find you i will disclose your identity here in public..do what yuo can do kulta female...legally or perosnally i will fight with you until death.just mark my words..
Dude, life is too short to fight someone until death. Get a life. Why don't you get yourself a sandwich and take a nap. You'll feel better.
I think you missed my point. For many Indians, fair or not fair is all relative (matter of perception). My officemate (an anglo-saxon woman) who have visited India (Delhi-Kerala) can't understand what't this fuss is all about regarding skin colors. She thinks overwhelming majority of the Indians are dark-skinned, and I agree with her.
>>> why is your anglo-saxon officemate's opinion important in a discussion about indians' aesthetic preferences for various shades and nuances of skin colour?
>>> your anglo-saxon officemate thinks all indians have the same skin colour because she is not attuned to looking for smaller and subtler differences; it's like indians thinking that all chinese look alike.
>>> i find the range of skin colours that one finds in india often within the same family (forget different ethnicities or linguistic groups) incredibly fascinating. in my own family, i am slightly lighter than what most indians would describe as wheatish, my sister wheatish, and my brother nearly as fair as a southern european/middle eastern arab person. we have first and second cousins who range in skin colour from southern european to nearly african/african american.
>>> i find the range of skin colours that one finds in india often within the same family (forget different ethnicities or linguistic groups) incredibly fascinating. in my own family, i am slightly lighter than what most indians would describe as wheatish, my sister wheatish, and my brother nearly as fair as a southern european/middle eastern arab person. we have first and second cousins who range in skin colour from southern european to nearly african/african american.
___________
Mine too and we are not even brahmins:-)
(Apparently there has been all kinds of mixed mating going on!)
M
>>> your anglo-saxon officemate thinks all indians have the same skin colour because she is not attuned to looking for smaller and subtler differences; it's like indians thinking that all chinese look alike.
>>> i find the range of skin colours that one finds in india often within the same family (forget different ethnicities or linguistic groups) incredibly fascinating. in my own family, i am slightly lighter than what most indians would describe as wheatish, my sister wheatish, and my brother nearly as fair as a southern european/middle eastern arab person. we have first and second cousins who range in skin colour from southern european to nearly african/african american.
>>> i find the range of skin colours that one finds in india often within the same family (forget different ethnicities or linguistic groups) incredibly fascinating. in my own family, i am slightly lighter than what most indians would describe as wheatish, my sister wheatish, and my brother nearly as fair as a southern european/middle eastern arab person. we have first and second cousins who range in skin colour from southern european to nearly african/african american.
___________
Mine too and we are not even brahmins:-)
(Apparently there has been all kinds of mixed mating going on!)
M
>>> what role does "not even" play in that sentence? just curious.
>>> that aside, i don't think variance in complexions is limited to brahmins.
>>> that aside, i don't think variance in complexions is limited to brahmins.
>>> what role does "not even" play in that sentence? just curious.
Ok Max, let us forget about it, no point getting into the same old stuff and explanations.
Frankly, very same discussions here on color, caste, religion...basically, the same old over and over..are so redundant and getting to be boring "even for me". And my tolerance levels are quite high, even for the most mundane and boring.
M
Ummm, what is slightly lighter than what most indians would describe as wheatish? Sounds incredibly vague to me. C'mon, I mean you're either wheatish or you're not. You've got to decide dude!
>>> i've seen the pictures of your stubby fingers and gnarly hands hungrily dipping into a bowl of sambhar that you once posted on CH. based on those pictures, my complexion is slightly lighter than yours but a whole lot more blemish-free. hope that helps.
">>> why is your anglo-saxon officemate's opinion important in a discussion about indians' aesthetic preferences for various shades and nuances of skin colour?"
It's not a matter of importance. I was presenting a perception of a person from different culture & community. She is well aware of the Indian matrimonials 'skin' references and how much importance is given to skin color in our community.
">>> your anglo-saxon officemate thinks all indians have the same skin colour because she is not attuned to looking for smaller and subtler differences; it's like indians thinking that all chinese look alike. "
Not exactly. She knows that there are Indians who look like the members of Raj Kapoor family, and there are people who look like Vijay Amritraj family members. The confusing part is, when different shades of brown skins are compared and categorized as fair skins and dark skins. For ex: I don't see much difference in Amitabh and his wife's skin color, do you?
">>> i find the range of skin colours that one finds in india often within the same family (forget different ethnicities or linguistic groups) incredibly fascinating. in my own family, i am slightly lighter than what most indians would describe as wheatish, my sister wheatish, and my brother nearly as fair as a southern european/middle eastern arab person. we have first and second cousins who range in skin colour from southern european to nearly african/african american."
Incredibly fascinating??!! Different color skins within the same family occur due to marriages between fairskinned and darkskinned people for centuries. It has been a never ending process to get rid of dark skins. That's why you rarely see a dark skinned man marrying a fairskinned woman, and vice versa. Some even go as far marrying white folks. It will take another 1000 years to see very dark skin (dark brown to black) to disappear. In-house CH statistitians, please give us your opinions (probability of the aforementioned occurrence).
It's not a matter of importance. I was presenting a perception of a person from different culture & community. She is well aware of the Indian matrimonials 'skin' references and how much importance is given to skin color in our community.
">>> your anglo-saxon officemate thinks all indians have the same skin colour because she is not attuned to looking for smaller and subtler differences; it's like indians thinking that all chinese look alike. "
Not exactly. She knows that there are Indians who look like the members of Raj Kapoor family, and there are people who look like Vijay Amritraj family members. The confusing part is, when different shades of brown skins are compared and categorized as fair skins and dark skins. For ex: I don't see much difference in Amitabh and his wife's skin color, do you?
">>> i find the range of skin colours that one finds in india often within the same family (forget different ethnicities or linguistic groups) incredibly fascinating. in my own family, i am slightly lighter than what most indians would describe as wheatish, my sister wheatish, and my brother nearly as fair as a southern european/middle eastern arab person. we have first and second cousins who range in skin colour from southern european to nearly african/african american."
Incredibly fascinating??!! Different color skins within the same family occur due to marriages between fairskinned and darkskinned people for centuries. It has been a never ending process to get rid of dark skins. That's why you rarely see a dark skinned man marrying a fairskinned woman, and vice versa. Some even go as far marrying white folks. It will take another 1000 years to see very dark skin (dark brown to black) to disappear. In-house CH statistitians, please give us your opinions (probability of the aforementioned occurrence).
It will take another 1000 years to see very dark skin (dark brown to black) to disappear. In-house CH statistitians, please give us your opinions (probability of the aforementioned occurrence).
______
Why should very dark skin tones disappear?
You make it seem like there is something wrong with them.
Who knows in a 1000 years...there will perhaps be more brown and darker skin people, while white and paler skin tones will be more rare and perhaps obselete.
M
______
Why should very dark skin tones disappear?
You make it seem like there is something wrong with them.
Who knows in a 1000 years...there will perhaps be more brown and darker skin people, while white and paler skin tones will be more rare and perhaps obselete.
M
"Why should very dark skin tones disappear?
You make it seem like there is something wrong with them.
Who knows in a 1000 years...there will perhaps be more brown and darker skin people, while white and paler skin tones will be more rare and perhaps obselete."
Actually, I could not care less whether 'very dark skin' disappears or not. With sooooooooooooo much importance given to skin colors in India, I thought it might be a good idea.
You make it seem like there is something wrong with them.
Who knows in a 1000 years...there will perhaps be more brown and darker skin people, while white and paler skin tones will be more rare and perhaps obselete."
Actually, I could not care less whether 'very dark skin' disappears or not. With sooooooooooooo much importance given to skin colors in India, I thought it might be a good idea.
If I remember my biology (genetics) lessons right, dark is a dominant gene and light is recessive. Similarly rough (hair & skin texture) is dominant and smooth is recessive. So dark skin, rough hair, and rough skin are more likely to survive than the other way round. Just my 2 cents, no personal bias (I am short, very dark, rough-skinned, rough-haired, big flat-nosed, short-necked, crooked toothed man:-).