How You Behave With A Corrupt Friend, Socially.
started by chanchal47 5 mnths agoFlat
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do something so he breaks all contact with you. It's the same as making your gf break up with you.
Hey BR,
Think before you declare a person CORRUPT. In modern environments, you can not fit the the moralities and definitions of old times. We have to cosider the person's act, his environs, beneficiaries of his act and the the motive of the person. It is very important. As per the old value system, even the BONUS or the FESTIVAL gifts given to you by the company you work with, tantamounts to corruption because they are managing you.
Think before you declare a person CORRUPT. In modern environments, you can not fit the the moralities and definitions of old times. We have to cosider the person's act, his environs, beneficiaries of his act and the the motive of the person. It is very important. As per the old value system, even the BONUS or the FESTIVAL gifts given to you by the company you work with, tantamounts to corruption because they are managing you.
There are lot of factors that come to my mind which need to be defined before analysing the situation. Like how corrupt the friend is & why has he been slated corrupt, do all the other friends feel the same, if yes then what reactions do they have. For a person to be corrupt, it is in the nature and doesn't happen overnight so how did he become a friend at first. Is he close friend enough to inform him about his nature and if he can change himself..
From the info available, I think he would immediately stop being a close friend if he is corrupt and if others have different values & principles than his. Well, how one react swith him in a function would be very similar to the reactions one gives to acquaintances & strangers in the functions. One would be as calm & composed as possible maintaining the distance and yet not trying to come out to be a rude person. At a personal level, there is no compulsion to keep that friendship growing. The friend can always be informed of the difference in opinion & idelogy. If the friendship has been for years then it would take some time to part ways but then all friendships don't last forever.
It's not always important to know how one reacts to a situation but is very important to know why one reacts the way one does as that is the defining factor in any relationship. So how you react with this friend would hardly matter to him but it is important to let him know why you would act or behave with him differently. If there is a possibility that you can change someone's thinking then why not?
From the info available, I think he would immediately stop being a close friend if he is corrupt and if others have different values & principles than his. Well, how one react swith him in a function would be very similar to the reactions one gives to acquaintances & strangers in the functions. One would be as calm & composed as possible maintaining the distance and yet not trying to come out to be a rude person. At a personal level, there is no compulsion to keep that friendship growing. The friend can always be informed of the difference in opinion & idelogy. If the friendship has been for years then it would take some time to part ways but then all friendships don't last forever.
It's not always important to know how one reacts to a situation but is very important to know why one reacts the way one does as that is the defining factor in any relationship. So how you react with this friend would hardly matter to him but it is important to let him know why you would act or behave with him differently. If there is a possibility that you can change someone's thinking then why not?
what is corrupt? Define it first
scribblingpad:
There is no set definition of "corrupt". When the computer system does not load the operating system, then we call the system corrupt. When files disappear and does not open, when we want them to open, we call the entire system corrupt, or at best the file is corrupted.
So, what is corruption? It is a QUESTION OF DEGREES. Taking advantage of the existing situation is CORRUPTION and getting away with it without detection. And even if detected, if one has Katti Tholi [ Malayalam Expression meaning thick skin] nothing is corrupt. Sarvam Ishvarapanam.
Since it is in my code of ethics not to hate other human beings, I intensely dislike them and sever all my connections and ignore them as if they are dead. For all practical purposes, they are DEAD and DEAD like the DODO. Period.
One reason, I have very few genuine friends in my personal life. But for all this, I am no Mahatma. I have my own failings, perhaps, even much more bigger than those who I ignore.
At the end of the day, what matters most, is that when one hits the bed, and one is able to get one's stipulated hours of sleep, with no worries to crease one's forehead, and without any heaviness of heart, then one has achieved that state of mind, which is worth cultivating. I shall not call it Enlightment, or Self-Realization. But it could be the first step.
Regards.
Rajaputhran.
There is no set definition of "corrupt". When the computer system does not load the operating system, then we call the system corrupt. When files disappear and does not open, when we want them to open, we call the entire system corrupt, or at best the file is corrupted.
So, what is corruption? It is a QUESTION OF DEGREES. Taking advantage of the existing situation is CORRUPTION and getting away with it without detection. And even if detected, if one has Katti Tholi [ Malayalam Expression meaning thick skin] nothing is corrupt. Sarvam Ishvarapanam.
Since it is in my code of ethics not to hate other human beings, I intensely dislike them and sever all my connections and ignore them as if they are dead. For all practical purposes, they are DEAD and DEAD like the DODO. Period.
One reason, I have very few genuine friends in my personal life. But for all this, I am no Mahatma. I have my own failings, perhaps, even much more bigger than those who I ignore.
At the end of the day, what matters most, is that when one hits the bed, and one is able to get one's stipulated hours of sleep, with no worries to crease one's forehead, and without any heaviness of heart, then one has achieved that state of mind, which is worth cultivating. I shall not call it Enlightment, or Self-Realization. But it could be the first step.
Regards.
Rajaputhran.
A friend who turned corrupt, or was he corrupt to begin with - then how did he become a friend in the first place?
You place yourself in this scenario. You and your friend studied in the same school and passed out from same college. Then you opted for private job and he opted for govt. job dealing in Alcohol.
His dept is such no body can remain Mr. Clean. Now you have met him after say 7 years from your golden college days. You are Mr. Clean and He 100% corrupt. How do you know that? You judged him by his life style and came to understand it is possible conclusion that this life style cannot be maintained, without extra income. Now your reactions?
deep purple :
Temptation and Avidya. Ignorance about one's antecedents makes you regret your friendship with one, who becomes corrupt because of temptations. In Tamil there is a saying: "Pathiram Arindu Pitchai Ali". Give alms only to those who deserve( it). Just because one desires your friendship does not mean that you should be friends with that person. Discretion is always the better part of valour.
Regards.
Rajaputhran.
Temptation and Avidya. Ignorance about one's antecedents makes you regret your friendship with one, who becomes corrupt because of temptations. In Tamil there is a saying: "Pathiram Arindu Pitchai Ali". Give alms only to those who deserve( it). Just because one desires your friendship does not mean that you should be friends with that person. Discretion is always the better part of valour.
Regards.
Rajaputhran.
when people talk sweetly u tend to like them and they become friends.like u and me. Then they have a difference of opinion and dont agree to disagree, then they become enemies.
its not just sweet talk. a close friend is someone with whom you spent most of your childhood or early youth when both of you were innocent. ten years goes by and suddenly you realize your friend is corrupt, in one sense or another. is it possible to judge him and leave just like everyone else do. that's not friendship. it is possible for friends to turn into enemies, but such enemity takes years to form. in between, you may need to face him on several occassions. how do you react? that is the issue.
i think the heart will be filled with great sadness. u can never forget the person till u die. u cant sever the relation. i dont believe that any relationship can be severed. from good it becomes bad...from friends to eneimies...but the secret bond will exist like an unseen thread---- thick or thin...it exists.
its tough to severe friendship and years of bonding, and behave differently based on corrupt behaviour, either at social or personal level. very sad and tough situation. friendship makes it easy to overlook many short comings in close friends. especially if one is a family friend. so, in my opinion, there will not be any special reaction towards such a friend, while friendship lasts. no bitterness.
our next door neighbours were when I was a kid. On Diwali, we would see cars after cars coming with boxes and boxes full of God knows what.
Didn't care. Ate plateful of expensive cherries when visited them and watching latest Englis movies.
I guess people tend to look away with friends too. Except people like my uncle, who made them permanent enemies and told them that on their face. We are still stuck with those enmities that he started. No choice. God bless his soul.
Didn't care. Ate plateful of expensive cherries when visited them and watching latest Englis movies.
I guess people tend to look away with friends too. Except people like my uncle, who made them permanent enemies and told them that on their face. We are still stuck with those enmities that he started. No choice. God bless his soul.
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Corruption based on old moralities is not cosidered corruption. DHIRU BHAI AMBANI when ticked off by a journalist for bribing bureaucracy and politicians to get his work done in the govt or get preference over others, had retortrd: NO IT IS NOT CORRUPTION BUT MANAGEMENT OF ENVIRONMENTS. Now what says THOU? What if your friend was managing environments? What is a MATERIALISTIC SOCIETY? What is CAPITALISM? They all support individual growth , profits and benefits through what ever means---wrong or right; harmful to others or not ,as long as individual benefits. What IS LIBERAL ECONOMY? What is Globalisation? Drawing conclusions from old value system and moralities, they all sow seeds of bigger corruption.It might not be so in the modern man's perceptions. Define the act and environments before calling a person corrupt.
TEHLEKA expose made some disclosures--while army punished them for corruption---politicians and their bureucratic lackeys roam freely. Ask Mayawati where has she got all this money from. Her people gifted she says. Law is impotent on this. No one can raise a finger because in the courts of her people she gets elected time and again--her people think she was not corrupt. HAWALA SCAM, BOFORS SCANDAL, Submarine Scam, Fodder Scam of LALLU, SUKHRAM's 3.5 Crores hard cash in gunny bags, what were they all? They were all part of the MONEY MANAGED THROUGH COMMISSION--THATS WHY YOUR NINCOMPOOP LAW CAN NOT DO ANYTHING. Commision is an honourable term but nothing less than corruption. When you get BONUS from the Company--the company BRIBES you. they manage you. It is corruptio as per old moralities. Therefore think before you call a person corrupt. regards. Rajee.