I am a Semi-regular Blogger and long-time lurker on Sulekha Groups these days. Due to some issues, my Wife is staying with her Sister's family, since 2 years ago, shortly after our Second daughter was borne. You can say we are in Trial Separation period, while she gets her degree, and she can find a Job for herself. In the mean time, I have lot of free time to discuss what went wronng with my Wife and Family, and can not but wonder if Sulekha did not play a small part in it. You see, I met a Signle girl on Sulekha Groups back in late, 2004 when I was actively posting and blogging. Things proceeded to a different level very fast, and we became Lovers. She visited me at my Home town first and, we continued to meet regularly as time permits. I will post our Correspondence as part of two or three series. I am not entirely sure why these posts, but with the hope that it might help me understand my situation better.
She sent me this Email shortly after we met in my Home town below.
How are you doing? Hope everything is fine and dandy.. I always wondered what dandy really meant. So I looked up the dictionary put together by Messers Webster and Co and it said "fine".. does that mean "fine and fine" in that case, thought I? Well, whatever.. I guess making sure you are really really fine!! you know!!
This mail is basically to reiterate what we have been talking about on the phone lately. Like you already know, I am almost there to get hitched, like it or not. That is sending quite a shiver down my spine and creating quite a rustle in my mind. But they say it is normal [the emotions I mean] and good too [if you look at it in a certain way at a certain time of the day]. Since my knowledge about it is limited and even that quite disastrous I would as well just believe them. But the things that I am a little knowledgable about are generating quite some panic attacks in me. All the What-ifs are shrouding me from all directions making it impossible for me to breathe.
Thats when I thought about you [not to mention that I do think about you quite a few times even otherwise]. Coming straight to the point [after all the twists and turns] I just wanted to ask if I could count on you as a back up plan [for the lack of better vocabulary on my part] in case 'it' turns out to be a disaster. [What is the quizzical look on your face that I percieve? You know what I am talking about.. You want me to spell it out? and actually jeapordize my privacy? No sir, that I would not!! So we have to live with the elusion]. If in future I ever feel an emptyness in my life, a certain void that cannot be filled by anyone else, will you be there for me? Can I just send you an email and expect you to answer it? Can I just pick up the phone and talk to you? Can I just lay down the quiverings of the heart bare in front of you and not expect to be turned down or mocked upon? Can I just [ok.. now it is getting a little melodramatic, you say? I am a little guilty of being superfluous.]
I will be waiting with bated breath and un-batting eyelids for a reply. You can choose to just ignore this email in which case I will just crumble and succumb to the burden that the world places on me. You can choose to answer in the negative, in which case I will silently shed a flood of tears putting up a brave front to whoever that cares. But if you choose to answer in the affirmative, there will be no happier woman who gets hitched with absolute and unprecedented alacrity.
who sis this..female.